In Episode 60 of the PolySoCal Podcast, Alonzo Banx sits down with Michael, Noah, and Dante to ask a deceptively simple question: what makes an ideal female partner in the poly and ENM world? What follows is not a conversation about body type, age, or sexual performance. The men instead focus on radical honesty, communication, emotional intelligence, enthusiastic consent, empathy, mutual desire, and having a partner who knows what she wants and can say it clearly. The conversation also explores vulnerability, aging, BDSM, emotional safety, and the value of a supportive “wing woman” who helps open doors rather than simply waiting for them to be opened. The result is a thoughtful look at what these men actually value in a partner—and a setup for next week, when the women get their turn to tell the men what an ideal male partner looks like.
PolySoCal-E060 – What makes the Ideal Female partner
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[00:00:00]
Alonzo banx: Welcome back to Polyam Radio. I am Alonzo Banks. Tonight on Polysocal, we’re talking about a topic that probably gonna get a little bit contentious here. I wanna find out what people think is the perfect attributes for a female partner. What makes a perfect female when you’re in this poly world? have Michael, we have Noah, we have Dante in the house, and we’re gonna start going around. Michael, we had a great conversation with you last week, then I got a lot of feedback from people who think you’re not the nicest guy in the world. We gotta go about changing that ’cause I think you are. So say hello, tell people who you are, and we’re gonna address the other problem here soon enough
Michael: My name’s Michael. I’m in the, the controversial, I think, was from last week’s episode with Bev, who is who I live with and primary relationship. And I think she would say I’m nice, but I’m not gonna try to [00:01:00] defend that. Whatever people feel. And I’ve been in some sense of ethical non-monogamy for almost 30 years and would consider myself, if I was gonna put any label, a anarchist.
And I have, have several relationships, and I have a certain affinity for three-way relationships. So that’s me.
Alonzo banx: I gotta tell you, I think you’re an amazing guy. And
Michael: Oh, thank you
Alonzo banx: down to we don’t yuck other people’s yums.
A lot of the feedback I got was because you are very active and Bev says she’s not.
Michael: Right
Alonzo banx: And it was like, but that works for them. And I
Michael: Okay
Alonzo banx: in an environment where we say don’t yuck anyone else’s yum,
If that works for you, it works for you
Michael: Yeah and if I had my way, she would be way more active. That’s her decision to do that. It’s definitely not my preference, let alone my control
Alonzo banx: And I don’t know her deeply, but we’ve had, have conversations, and I think she sounds [00:02:00] very happy in the relationship, we’re gonna move on. Mr. Dante, you and Double D, we did a good conversation with you guys just a couple weeks ago too
Dante: We did. That was our introduction to Poly SoCal. I’m Dante. I am retired, and after 39 years of very vanilla for the last eight years, I come to ENM relationships from the tantric world. I have three lovers, beyond my beautiful bride, Double D, and very glad to be here
Alonzo banx: Thank you. Hey, Noah I’ve been talking with a bunch of doctors this week. We done got a bunch of podcasts for Poly Wellness and Poly Living, in those I had someone tell me the other day, “We don’t have enou- enough alternative representation on Poly SoCal. We don’t have any BDSM couples.” which I could only tell them, “Do, do, do you know Noah and the [00:03:00] Pastries?”
Noah: You can set something up. We can all have a conversation. It sounds great, actually. Yeah, we we do. We have a BDSM dynamic in our polycule. Both pastries. While it’s not necessarily 24/7 all the time, it can sometimes be nearly 24/7. We have collars and whips and chains and ropes and everything else.
So if that’s something that excites you, then I would love to have a conversation about it
Alonzo banx: Welcome gentlemen. So tonight, the conversation comes from one that I was having with some people the other day about perfect partners. And week I have you gentlemen online talking about what makes a perfect partner. And next weekend, I’ve got all the ladies online telling us what it is that we as men need to be in order to be the perfect man. gentlemen, what makes the perfect partner a polyamorous [00:04:00] world? Who
Noah: So I can start.
Alonzo banx: Go ahead,
Noah: I can start. So I do wanna say right off the bat that perfect is a word that has a lot of what’s the word? Gravity to it, right? Perfect is a word that nobody can agree on. I think perfect is a target. Perfect isn’t what we expect, right? It is a goal that we try to aim for and always fail, but in that pursuit, we become better.
So now that we’ve established that, we can talk about in a, in the real world, what are we looking for? And for me, it doesn’t have anything to do with the way that they look or body shape or size, weight, age, all of that. It really has to do with, A, being able to connect on some level with some s- a common interest or a belief system.
And then the, the biggest thing after that would be radical honesty. I’m a huge proponent of honesty from the very beginning. I know we are always trying to put our best foot forward when we… especially when we first meet [00:05:00] somebody which can kinda cause us to want to exaggerate or diminish certain parts of our personalities or histories or whatever.
But I am a put all the cards on the table kind of guy, and I think that really plays into having an open or poly relationship a non-monogamous relationship because there is inherently a ton of trust required. And if you can’t be 100% honest all the time, I just don’t think that trust is achievable
Alonzo banx: You used the word radical honesty.
Noah: I did
Alonzo banx: you, but I wanna ask Noah about that. Talk to me about that
Noah: So for me, radical honesty means essentially even if you’re afraid of the consequences of what you’re going to say, you say it anyways. So if you think it’s going to hurt the other person, if you think it might make you look bad you say it. It doesn’t mean you can’t use softer language or, not be mean, right?
You don’t have to be [00:06:00] rude. That’s not what radical honesty is. But instead, don’t tiptoe around what’s actually happened or how you actually feel. Get to the point and say it with honesty. Don’t leave out details. Don’t try to protect my feelings, right? Th- I think those are all extremely important traits
Alonzo banx: Dante, you wanted to jump in there
Dante: First off, I’d like to change the word perfect to ideal. It lowers the expectations of, the outcome. But number one, and it’s in all relationships, it’s communication. It’s a willingness to be vulnerable, and in the moments to be intimate in, in all communications or negotiations of your agreements, or exactly what may transpire in a particular encounter. It’s being someone willing to [00:07:00] let us know where they are in the moment so that we can empathically connect with them accordingly
Alonzo banx: How does that work with, Michael, I see you. How does that work with radical honesty is, in communication? Are they the two words for the same thing or are they different?
Dante: I guess when I hear radical honesty I’m a sensual person, so I always take a softer approach, softer wording and than a, a strong emotion, just asking, inquiring of w- where they are, and expect an hon- I agree with Noah, an honest answer. Don’t hide. Be open enough and courageous enough and empowered enough have your voice and speak to us on the level. That’s where I would, [00:08:00] that’s where I would put it
Alonzo banx: I have a comment to that, but Michael, did you wanna say something before I
Michael: Go ahead, make your comment. I can talk about it after
Alonzo banx: As anyone who’s listened to the podcast knows that one of my deals is enthusiastic consent. And it comes from needing to feel inside that my partner wants to be in that moment with me, that I can’t have any hesitation or reservation about their desire. That, that is a huge factor for me. And Noah Dante, when I hear you talking about radical honesty and communication, I frame that for me as, yeah I need that so that I know they’re a willing participant in this moment. We’re walking on some edges. we all good here? Because I don’t need to walk anywhere that we’re all not happy Michael?
Michael: Yeah, I would I would agree with that. In fact, that enthusiastic consent, I would [00:09:00] It’s not just consent engaging in something, it’s the desire to into something. And it’s like if, and I would feel like enthusiastic consent is basically what you’re saying with that, of not getting involved, not doing something ’cause you’ve started something really big.
And that, even the little bit of experience I’ve had with BDSM, I find them much better about consent than necessarily. They get better, but that’s always a thing. But the thing about the communication obviously is huge. I will say that when I talk about ideal or perfect partner, it’s interesting because I wasn’t for anybody with that.
I had a lot of close relationships and felt that I was happy in that. And so I was more focused on me being honest and me showing up and me being open. And so I was more concerned with me being the ideal partner or how I showed up with people than I was trying to find somebody that was ideal. And then the [00:10:00] relationship I have with Bev fell into place very organically because she showed up that way with an ability to aware of herself, to be able to communicate what’s real for her, and to have that communication. And a sense of being able to hear me and not project her feel- It doesn’t mean there wasn’t hard feelings or things that come up, but she’s really good at not projecting it into she’s “I feel this. I feel afraid. I feel whatever’s coming up,” instead of, “You were a jerk and you did this and you did that.”
She’s really good at that c- level of communication. And she’s also willing to listen to what’s real for me and not be like I don’t wanna hear about what you’re doing over there.” She she’s She- W- we call it her superpower. She’s open to hear about whatever’s going on in all the parts of my life. Like you were talking about, Noah, not only is it quote-unquote, “the radical honesty,” it’s just w- we’ve created a [00:11:00] space where it doesn’t even feel necessary to have to lie to each other. It was never a requirement. It just became unnecessary
Alonzo banx: Michael,
Noah: 100%.
Alonzo banx: I’d add o- think I’d add onto that. P- of that requirement is that your partners have a level of emotional intelligence, that they understand their own needs, wants, and desires.
Michael: Yep
Alonzo banx: I am all about someone looking at me going, “I don’t know where I am in this minute, and I need to explore.”
What I’m not okay with is someone who does not understand their own needs, and they don’t understand when they’re not on steady ground. I think that can cause lot of problems
Michael: Ab- absolutely. That self-awareness that ability to understand who you are is, I think it’s important on both sides. But yeah, that’s, that has been a huge characteristic that Bev’s brought to us that, that’s made a huge difference
Alonzo banx: Yeah, you say on both [00:12:00] sides. I’m waiting for next weekend for the women are gonna tell us everything that we do wrong anyway
Michael: yeah
Alonzo banx: mean, I think that, that’s coming. I feel that I need a partner understands their own emotion, who has that emotional intelligence. And again, for me, a big cycle here is gonna be about enthusiastic consent. And for to do that, you have to have that radical honesty. Noah, I see you. You have to have– And Dante. You have to have that radical honesty, but you also have to have the ability to know what you want the confidence to say what you don’t. Dante, I see you were up, but Noah, you were first
Noah: Yeah. It, and I just gotta say on exactly what you’re talking about, like knowing what you want and knowing what you don’t want. Especially, as we talked about in the opening, in the BDSM world that I’m involved in if you aren’t sure, that’s a no as far as I’m concerned, and that’s okay.
That’s not a knock [00:13:00] on the person that I’m, trying to have a scene with or an experience with. It’s okay to not know, and I’m not gonna be the one to bring you through that, right? Not unless we have a whole other conversation first that’s probably not gonna happen that night, right?
It’s gonna be something that we’re gonna talk about over the course of days or weeks or months or whatever we feel like we need to do and take that slow if we’re going to do it at all. The, the thing is e- especially in my world we’re talking about doing things that are not just extremely physically vulnerable, but extremely emotionally vulnerable.
Sex in and of itself is already both of those things. You add an element of BDSM to it and it can greatly affect people on both sides. And knowing what you want and what you don’t want is so important, and if you are unsure, that’s a no, and that’s okay. And I think that’s something [00:14:00] that I require from my female partners any partner, but I’m straight, so that’s what I’m gonna be encountering.
And that’s, there’s no pussyfooting around that. It is exactly what it is. So
Alonzo banx: Santé, I see you, but no, I wanna add something onto what you’re saying. It is perfectly acceptable to know that I don’t know what my limit is in this, and I want to put my toe in this water, but let’s go slowly that I can figure that out, and I’m going to be very conversant as we walk down this path. That is a very proactive, enthusiastic consent to something that you don’t know how you’re gonna feel down the road. Different than when someone says, “I’m in,” and yet they’re not Thank you
Dante: I just wanted to reinforce the, from my is to receive that mutual desire. In other words, to have it vocalized or [00:15:00] demonstrated in a seductive manner or something. most of my interactions are one-on-one, so it’s a very much I, desire to feel desired and to have The, a reciprocity in those moments. and for partner to inform me, as we’ve been discussing, we can’t read their minds.
Alonzo banx: No
Dante: They have to vocalize. It’s an age-old thing, we can’t read your mind. let us know
Alonzo banx: Absolutely. And there’s something I’m gonna add into this too, which is important for me. I’m old. Noah, you’re part of the, you’re part of the younger group tonight, so I don’t know if this applies as much. Empathy and compassion. I need a partner that can understand, “Hey, the equipment doesn’t always work the way it used to,” or, I’m tired tonight,” or there are things as we age [00:16:00] that require a little empathy, compassion, understanding. And I need a partner that can give that as well as expect it for me when they have issues that, we’re in this together. Do y’all think of that one? Yeah all three of you, but Noah, you were first, then Michael Dante. So Noah, go ahead
Noah: Yeah, no I think I completely agree with you. The empathy– I, I think it’s really easy to forget. I’m really not trying to get all red pill when I say these things. But men are often considered disposable in general, right? We are just needed to be either a body in war or a body to bring home money or someone to come fix the fridge or whatever it is, right?
And I feel that at least i-it can feel like our feelings aren’t really considered, that we don’t have feelings, I think is [00:17:00] often the, the assumption or the… Maybe not the assumption, but the reaction or the, the, the, what’s the word I’m looking for? The sub-thought. There’s a better word for it that I can’t think of right now.
Subconscious. Subconsciously, we’re thinking that we don’t have feelings, but we truly do, and just as much as, as women do, honestly, right? We have all the same worries and about the future and about our relationships and about work and about everything else that we’re doing. And we care when people give us room to have those feelings.
And I think a lot of men have a really hard time accessing that in a way that’s healthy, and that’s on us to get better at that, I would agree. But empathy for that difficulty, empathy f- for our feelings, empathy for our needs especially like when you said we can’t always perform or we’re stressed out or we’re tired, right?
[00:18:00] Those could be legitimate things. And if we’re not using that as an excuse day in and day out give us a minute, give us a second, give us some space.
Alonzo banx: Said. Michael Dante, you’re up next, but Michael, you had something
Michael: Yeah, I that, I guess the thing where I go with this is the fact that the primary connection with somebody is based on who they are as a human being about what’s real for them and not about what we’re doing sexually and doing that. And early on when I, when like trying to get into some scene or party or trying to do something or trying to meet people and get into some poly, whatever it is in that it was like a lot of “Oh, wow, this is really big and this is a big chance.”
And then if the person had some issues, it’d be like, “What’s going on?” And I have a tendency to be more dramatic now. And w- I think with experiences come with that. But it’s, it just no matter with Bev or with anybody, it’s [00:19:00] like my primary connection with them both ways is who we are as human beings, who we are about friendship, connection, caring about what’s real for each other, and the play and the things on top of it are just an expansion from that. And so empathy is built in. So I haven’t had a lot of experience in a long time that something went down that I feel like somebody didn’t care about my feelings or that I felt like they didn’t feel like I cared about theirs because it was the foundation that we built our connection with to begin with.
So I don’t know. I haven’t had a, that empathy. I don’t know that I would build a relationship with somebody that didn’t have that empathy or that kind of base of feeling like we cared about who each other was outside of everything else, all the activities, the play, whatever. It’s like that feels like it’s what’s built on top of the foundation.
Alonzo banx: I agree. I think that’s the [00:20:00] foundation of a relationship, that feeling is what grows into something. Dante, what’d you have for me?
Dante: I met double D in a workshop where vulnerability created an atmosphere and a ground to express feelings, and e- the expression of feelings, especially to the women, showing our vulnerability led to greater intimacy. So I a little disagree. I feel they’re welcoming of our feelings. We have to be courageous enough to express them and sh- show our and that will draw…
I have found it will draw them in. I also feel that in an engagement, in with an agenda is not the greatest thing to have in mind. And if performance becomes an, a, [00:21:00] a situation where I desire my partner is to be flexible, caring, empathetic, compassionate, and accepting of alternate methods, means and modalities for– to allow us to provide them pleasure
Alonzo banx: Oh, absolutely. If one thing isn’t working, doesn’t mean the rest of the body isn’t, and we can still get you to that same end goal. Noah, go ahead
Noah: Yeah, I’ve got a whole cabinet full of things that’ll help that out. Absolutely. No I I just wanted to say, to push back a little bit on Dante. I think what you’re experiencing is having a relationship with not especially young people. And when I say that, I, I had an an, an awful 18-year marriage, and it happened when I was young, and I didn’t know enough about myself to get into that marriage.
And then I was too locked in out of guilt and honor and [00:22:00] whatever truth, God, and country, whatever it is that made me keep doing what I was doing and refusing to give up when I really should have before I even said my vows, let alone 18 years of that Hell, I’ll be– to be honest, right? And it was very much a relationship that I did not have that, right?
I routinely got berated for I don’t have feelings. Those were literally words that she would say, right? My fault for having a penis if I, didn’t feel like something was fair and it hurt my feelings, right? Those are the kinds of reactions that I got, and those people do exist out there.
On the other side of that, though, I will say as I have gotten older, I’m forty-three now. As I have gotten older and met, older women, my age and older as well that has become less of a problem. And I don’t know if it’s because those other people are elsewhere and I’m not running into them, and I’m just getting lucky and [00:23:00] running into emotionally secure and intelligent people.
But I have found that has diminished greatly. And on top of that, I feel the younger people that I have met more recently seem to be more aware of emotional intelligence, of people’s psychology and understanding their positions and feelings, et cetera. So maybe this is something that’s improving.
But I didn’t have those those things when I was younger, and neither did my ex-wife. And I’m not saying she’s an awful person, but we were awful for each other, that’s for sure
Alonzo banx: I’ve known many relationships of two people who were both very good people were ultimately very bad together. So you don’t have to be bad people in order to end up in a bad relationship. Michael, you had something you wanted to say
Michael: Yeah, I will add, Noah, first of all, I’m sorry you went through that experience, just to say that I can feel the emotion of that. [00:24:00] And I would offer something that it might not be completely age, because you’re right, I think that we evolve as human beings and, people that are younger now have an ability to have emotional intelligence that I know I didn’t have when I was that age.
It’s so it does create that. And it feels like we draw people to us when we’re at that place. So I would offer that a lot of what makes you draw different people than you did then is because of who you are and where you’re at and where your awareness. ‘Cause I never made it 18 years in a marriage before my relationship with Bev.
I’d been married twice and had one anniversary total. It was like, so what I did is I had a series of relationships that were just, lather, rinse, repeat of the same thing over and over. So I probably had 18 years of the same dysfunctional experience just with tons of people, right? It would usually last two years.
Those would be the longest ones, [00:25:00] and a lot of them were a year or so, and it would just be the same thing, and it’s because I was in a place that’s what I attracted over and over because of the way I felt about myself. And when I had a shift of “Hey, I care about myself. I don’t hate myself.
I love myself,” I’m like… it created a– I just immediately started attracting different people. So I feel just to offer it, I had a different experience, but there was, like, a similar pattern in that. And given what I know of you, I can’t even imagine you drawing somebody that would treat you that way in this, who you are now
Noah: Thank you. I’m glad the, to feel that I’ve grown, yeah.
Alonzo banx: Dante, go ahead
Dante: And it is growth. And I have decades, know, of experience, and the emotional maturity is that you portray, if you possess emotional maturity, there’s a law of attraction, if that’s what [00:26:00] you generally emote, that is highly likely what you will attract into your life in multiple ways, multiple venues, multiple situations it’s a beautiful thing.
Development of emotional maturity is is just– takes time sometimes, so
Alonzo banx: Michael, I see you, but I wanna add on to something that Dante just said. I think that there’s two parts to that. When you have that emotional intelligence that you are projecting correctly, the counterpart of that is that you’re also filtering correctly. That as people come into your world that are not good mixes, you quickly filter them out and don’t bring them in too close. go ahead.
Michael: Yeah, and it just kinda comes back around to where we started with this, of what Dante just said, because it’s if you’re looking for the perfect ideal partner, then be that. Because that’s what you’re [00:27:00] gonna draw. It’s like I’m not gonna draw anybody that’s more loving or more emotionally aware, more emotionally intelligent or more honest than I am. Just not gonna pull that in. So it just kinda comes full circle to where we started
Alonzo banx: And again, you know which people to walk away from because they’re not gonna give you that. Now I’m gonna take this off into a little bit more fun. I can tell you something that I look for a perfect, an ideal partner. Thank you, Dante. I’m going with your ideal rather than my perfect. I want a wing woman, damn it. The inequity in being a man in poly is staggering, and I want a wing woman. I want someone who’s gonna understand that inequity and work with me, help me, help into the environment, and not someone who’s going to, for lack of a better term, ride on my coattails and wait for me to open all the doors and [00:28:00] me to build all the relationships. Because man, women have it so much easier to open relationships. Okay, so am I right or wrong with that one? That’s pretty radical. I know I’m gonna get some hate mail on that one. Go ahead, Noah
Noah: No I think you’re absolutely right. I’ve I’ve actually found that my most successful, other partners that I’ve had in the last several years with my current partners has been when they have been involved, right? It’s not like they’re hunting for me. It’s different than that.
But they are opening the doors. They are showing that there’s availability if they’re interested, right? That they’re not a blocker, right? And it’s this, something I have noticed at least in my circles, and maybe this is more of an ethical non-monogamy poly situation, right? But I think it really lowers a lot of guards, barriers, [00:29:00] walls when another woman or women can speak kindly about you or for you on your behalf and that they seem happy with you as well, right?
I think that’s major. I would feel far less connected, I think, to my partners if they weren’t at some level involved in, me meeting other people
Alonzo banx: Absolutely, and you just described a wing woman very well. They’re not hunting for you. They’re supporting you. They’re putting in a good word. They’re saying the things and they’re supporting you when you meet new people, is, they’re part of the relationship and not sitting in the background waiting for you to do everything, and that’s an important factor for me. Michael, you had something you wanted to add to that?
Michael: Yeah it’s interesting. It’s … I’m glad you brought up this topic ’cause when you first then went down this path, I like kinda wrinkled a little “Ah.” And and I… It might [00:30:00] be like most things, it’s our personal experience ’cause, know, when I was brand new to lifestyle stuff, I was like, I had this perception that the single guy was like, treated different, was kept on the outside.
It… So that was kind of the entry. But then I personally was looking for hostages to bring along with me with that, and it didn’t work with that. Now, obviously, that’s not what you’re talking about. And it’s interesting because then over the years I’ve had different relationships, but I’ve had a lot of the years I’ve been in this that I wasn’t. Bev and I have been together 14 years now, so it’s been a long time. But it’s like I had a lotta years that I didn’t have that, and I fa- in fact, I was in a relationship that ended, and some of the people that were couples that we had connected with started treating me like some single guy all of a sudden too.
It was very interesting how that happened. But you found out who your real friends were because a couple of them did the mo- of became closer [00:31:00] to me instead of pushing me away. But it’s interesting ’cause as we discussed in the beginning of this is the activity level between Bev and I might be different, and not anybody I’m involved with that she hasn’t met, doesn’t know, friendly with, open to. She’s just i- very, cares very much and engaged in the lifestyle that we have regardless of what level of play things go with. So even if it’s not in a play world, she actually, without me even realizing it as far as being someone I was looking for, definitely shows up, as you’re talking about, Alonzo, as somebody that, that cares and is there and is open and is supportive to things,
Alonzo banx: I think you and Bev are awesome, and we are definitely gonna have you back to address some of those issues. Dante, I see you. Noah, you were up first, though. Go ahead
Dante: Just a brief addition to Michael. Some of Double D’s and my interactions are basically kitchen table poly, and we [00:32:00] meet each other’s individual lovers and get to know them on a cordial basis. But m- my support comes Double D speaks in their presence of me and tells them a little bit about our relationship and how deep it is, and the way to educate My partner there in a deeper sense of what Dante’s about. And because of that sharing of information, there, there’s the reinforcement, there’s the support that I get in the way of a wingman as, as you introduced it originally on, so
Alonzo banx: No
Noah: Yeah and this I think goes back to something that Michael was saying, but ultimately, I guess y- having a wing woman who is a part of your other relationships, even if it’s [00:33:00] not being romantically a part of it, right? Maybe not even close, right? But just being able to have a conversation and bring you in helps.
But there’s also another element to that, to this that I think is psychological. And, a, a lot of guys talk about this in kind of a, a way to put women down, which I don’t agree with, ’cause I think it’s probably deeper psychologically than they try to make it out to be. But there is a a working theory that if you wear your wedding ring, you’re gonna get a lot more attention from women than if you don’t, right?
And there’s a lot of guys out there who maybe not– aren’t even married and will wear a wedding ring just to detract other attention. Now, maybe that’s from women who are specifically going after married men because they get excitement out of that. That’s not been my experience personally. I think w- it comes down to something more psychological, more primal than that, and that’s if you are desired by another woman, then you must be desirable, right?
And to have a [00:34:00] wing woman help you out to show that you’re a desirable person to be with, to be around, it goes a long way. And I think that can be turned into a positive and not such a negative connotation
Alonzo banx: Fantastically well said. So let’s go around the room. Last thoughts on this. Dante, what are your thoughts here tonight?
Dante: Just open that we have shared so deeply. I think we’ve conveyed some key passages s- proposals for the ladies to take in as informational as they go forward to understand our expectations and desires in inter-interacting with them
Alonzo banx: It’s gonna be very interesting to hear their counterpoints next Sunday night. Michael, what are your thoughts?
Michael: I think the biggest thing that I’ve got out of this conversation is, an awareness of some things that if you would’ve just asked me off [00:35:00] the top, I might have reacted a different way to. But through this conversation, I’ve understood some things that I’ve, that I have incorporated into my life that I didn’t even know I had, and it makes me have a stronger sense of appreciation for it. that’s what’s come out of me in this conversation
Alonzo banx: Noah, last words. Take us out
Noah: I think what I’ve really learned is that we can have four men get together and not just talk about T&A all night, about how those are the things that we’re all worried about. O-obviously physical attraction is something that is important for everybody in a relationship on some level.
But I don’t really think that’s truly what we are craving in a relationship. Maybe a one-night stand, right? But if we’re trying to have something that is repeatable, something where we can share a part of our life with someone or someones, right? We need more of an emotional connection, and I think I think a lot of women [00:36:00] might be surprised by that.
Alonzo banx: You know what? I think you’re right. but we’ll find out next weekend. That’s gonna be the big test. Michael, Noah, Dante, thank you for another awesome night. This has been Paulie SoCal. I am still Alonzo Banks. Good night, everybody