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PolySoCal

A safe, private space for couples exploring deeper connection, ethical non-monogamy, and authentic intimacy.
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  • The PolySoCal Podcast
    • - The PolySoCal Podcast
    • - Episodes
    • - RoundTable
    • -  Date Night on Us
    • - Want to be a guest?
  • Events
    • - Events
    • - Pop-up Events
    • - Overnight Experience
    • - Themed Weekend Immersions
    • - Extended Adventures
  • About PolySoCal
    • - About PolySoCal
    • - Is This Right for You
      • - - Is This Right for You
      • - - What to Expect
      • - - Costs & Donations
      • - - How to Join
    • - Policies and Rules
      • - - Policies and Rules
      • - - Conflict & Reporting Policy
      • - - Membership & Invitation Policy
      • - - Privacy & Discretion Policy
      • - - Consent & Touch Policy
      • - - STI Disclosure & Safer Play Policy
      • - - Photography & Device Policy
      • - - Firearms & Weapons Policy
      • - - Substances & Sobriety Policy
      • - - Touch-Free & “Off-Night” Respect Policy
      • - - Host & Facilitator Authority Policy
    • - Social Media
  • Members
  • Contact

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Where couples grow—together. A discreet, emotionally intelligent ENM space for connection, care & curiosity. LA area. Invite only.
The First "Personal Ad" Was Placed by a Man Seekin The First "Personal Ad" Was Placed by a Man Seeking a "Good Wife" in 1695 Long before Tinder, a British newspaper published the first-ever lonely hearts ad. In 1695, a man placed an ad looking for a "good young gentlewoman" to marry. This kicked off a trend, and by the Victorian era, newspapers were filled with personal ads from people of all classes looking for love, companionship, or financial security, proving that the desire to connect with strangers is anything but a new phenomenon.
Your Childhood Directly Shapes Your "Attachment St Your Childhood Directly Shapes Your "Attachment Style" as an Adult According to Attachment Theory, the way you bonded with your parents as an infant sets the stage for your adult romantic relationships. If your caregivers were reliable and loving, you likely have a "secure" attachment style. If they were inconsistent or distant, you might develop an "anxious" style (fearing abandonment) or an "avoidant" style (shying away from intimacy). It's a powerful reminder that our past is always present in our relationships.
Celtic "Handfasting" Was a Marriage for a "Year an Celtic "Handfasting" Was a Marriage for a "Year and a Day" In ancient Celtic traditions, couples could enter into a "handfasting" ceremony, a practice that literally involved tying their hands together. This was often a trial marriage that would last for "a year and a day." At the end of that period, the couple could choose to formalize the union or part ways with no strings attached. It was a beautiful, nature-based ritual that prioritized personal choice and experience over rigid, lifelong contracts.
NOW LOVE ON The PolySoCal Podcast What makes some NOW LOVE ON The PolySoCal Podcast What makes someone feel truly ‘part of the community In this heartfelt roundtable, the PolySoCal crew opens up about belonging, rejection, and what it truly means to feel part of a community. Hosted by Alonzo Banx with guests Lana, Noah, Ash, Sy, and Cupcake, this episode dives into the emotional undercurrents of inclusion — when we feel invited, when we don’t, and how our own perceptions shape that sense of belonging. The group explores how trust, self-worth, and proactive care from community leaders can make all the difference between isolation and connection. Alonzo Banx, Lana, Noah, Ash, Sy, Cupcake And Remember We are Always looking for new Voices at the table.
Limerence Is the Scientific Term for Obsessive Lov Limerence Is the Scientific Term for Obsessive Love Ever had a crush so intense it felt like you were going insane? There's a word for that: "limerence." Coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, it describes an involuntary, all-consuming state of infatuation characterized by intrusive thoughts, a desperate need for reciprocation, and mood swings that depend entirely on the other person's actions. It’s the difference between "I love you" and "I can't stop thinking about you."
The Wedding Ring Was Originally a Symbol of Owners The Wedding Ring Was Originally a Symbol of Ownership The tradition of the wedding ring dates back to the ancient Romans. For them, the "anulus pronubus" (betrothal ring) was not a symbol of love but a symbol of ownership. By accepting the ring, a woman was entering into a legal contract and was now the property of her husband. The ring was often made of iron to signify strength and permanence. The romantic, diamond-studded version we know today is a much more recent, and far more sentimental, invention.
You Can Predict Divorce with Over 90% Accuracy Psy You Can Predict Divorce with Over 90% Accuracy Psychologist John Gottman's "Love Lab" can predict whether a couple will divorce with astonishing accuracy. He identified four key behaviors that spell doom for a relationship, which he calls "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse": Criticism (attacking your partner's character), Contempt (sarcasm, eye-rolling, mockery), Defensiveness (playing the victim), and Stonewalling (shutting down communication). Contempt is the single greatest predictor of relationship failure.
🎁 “Date Night on Us” — A PolySoCal Invitation Rec 🎁 “Date Night on Us” — A PolySoCal Invitation Reconnect. Reflect. Share Your Story. At PolySoCal, we believe that love is something we nurture—through conversation, care, and connection. As part of our ongoing mission to celebrate the real stories behind ethical non-monogamy, we’re inviting couples and polycules to join us for a special series of podcast interviews. And here’s the gift: If your application is selected, PolySoCal will sponsor a “Night Out on Us”—a simple, sweet offering of movie tickets and popcorn money—because we know that sometimes, the best way to celebrate love… is just to spend time enjoying each other. 💬 What’s Involved? Sit down for a warm, guided podcast interview with Alonzo Banx. Share your journey—your joys, your challenges, your insights. Help others feel less alone in exploring this path. 🎙️ Why We’re Doing This In a world that often misunderstands alternative love, your story matters. We want to amplify voices that reflect not just diversity, but depth—stories grounded in communication, care, and courage. Your story might be the one that helps someone else feel seen. 🌟 To Apply: You must be in an ENM relationship (couple or polycule). Willing to record a 60–90 minute podcast episode with us. Located in (or able to call from) the U.S. Selected participants will receive a “Night Out on PolySoCal” care package—because connection is worth celebrating.
A "Cicisbeo" Was the Socially Approved "Other Man" A "Cicisbeo" Was the Socially Approved "Other Man" In 18th-century Italy, it was fashionable for married noblewomen to have a "cicisbeo"—a designated male companion who was not her husband. He would escort her to parties and the opera, carry her things, and be her constant confidant. The husband not only knew about this arrangement but fully approved of it, as it was a status symbol. While the relationships were supposed to be platonic, they often blurred the lines, acting as a socially sanctioned form of open marriage.
The Way You Smell Can Determine Who You're Attract The Way You Smell Can Determine Who You're Attracted To Forget personality profiles; your scent might be the real matchmaker. Humans are influenced by pheromones and the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC), a set of genes crucial to our immune system. Studies have shown that we are often unconsciously attracted to the scent of people with an MHC profile different from our own. Why? Mating with someone with a different immune system is evolutionarily advantageous, as it gives offspring a better defense against diseases.
The Infinity Heart Symbol Has a Specific Meaning Y The Infinity Heart Symbol Has a Specific Meaning You may have seen the infinity heart—a heart intertwined with the infinity symbol. This is the most common symbol for polyamory. The heart represents love, while the infinity symbol represents the concept that love is not a finite resource. It's a simple, elegant visual that captures the core belief of ethical non-monogamy: that you can love multiple people without diminishing the love you have for any one individual.
Listen to the PolySoCal Podcast: Types of Poly, F Listen to the PolySoCal Podcast: Types of Poly, Finding What Fits You Guest host Noah leads a lively and heartfelt discussion exploring the many forms of polyamory — from kitchen-table dynamics to monogamish relationships, harems of cuddle buddies, and solo poly living. The conversation opens with introductions from the full PolySoCal crew and new guests, each sharing their experiences and definitions of what “poly” means to them. Together, they dive into the importance of communication, boundaries, and how relationships evolve in today’s changing world. What begins as an exploration of relationship types turns into a deeper conversation about the future of love, trust, and connection in a society redefining what relationships look like. Noah, Cupcake, Heather, Ash, Max, Blake, Lana, Kim, Craig the PolySoCal Podcast on all major Podcast Services
The "Relationship Escalator" Is the Default We Nev The "Relationship Escalator" Is the Default We Never Agreed To Most of us follow a standard relationship path without even thinking about it: dating leads to exclusivity, then moving in, getting married, and having kids. This default pathway is known as the "Relationship Escalator." Philosophies like polyamory and relationship anarchy challenge this, encouraging people to consciously choose which steps, if any, they want for their relationships, rather than blindly riding the escalator to a predetermined destination.
In Puritan America, Couples Used "Courting Sticks" In Puritan America, Couples Used "Courting Sticks" to Whisper The Puritans weren't known for their romantic flair, but they had a clever invention for young lovers. A "courting stick" or "sparking tube" was a long, hollow wooden tube with a small cup on each end. A courting couple could sit on opposite ends of a room, under the gaze of their parents, and whisper private sweet nothings to each other through the tube. It was a tiny bubble of privacy in a world that offered none.
How to Join the Community, and Do It Right In thi How to Join the Community, and Do It Right In this roundtable conversation, the PolySoCal Podcast takes on one of the most common questions newcomers ask: “How do I join the community and conduct myself properly?” Alonzo Banx is joined by Cupcake, Noah, Ash, Oslo, Heather, and Craig for an honest and sometimes raw discussion about the do’s and don’ts of entering poly and lifestyle spaces. The group explores respect, boundaries, consent, and the importance of self-awareness before diving in. Along the way, personal stories highlight both the beauty and the challenges of building trust in open communities.
The Conversations You Wish You Could Have Listen The Conversations You Wish You Could Have Listen to the PolySoCal Podcast — where love, honesty, and curiosity collide. These are the questions everyone feels but few dare to ask. Real people, real relationships, no filters. Step into a space where vulnerability becomes connection and laughter replaces judgment. The PolySoCal Podcast is available on our website or by searching PolySoCal on all major podcast services. #PolySoCal #PolySoCalPodcast #ModernLove #OpenRelationships #LoveWithoutLimits #RealConversations #RelationshipGrowth #RealTalkAboutLove #AuthenticConnection #VulnerableConversations
The Way You Smell Can Determine Who You're Attract The Way You Smell Can Determine Who You're Attracted To Forget personality profiles; your scent might be the real matchmaker. Humans are influenced by pheromones and the Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC), a set of genes crucial to our immune system. Studies have shown that we are often unconsciously attracted to the scent of people with an MHC profile different from our own. Why? Mating with someone with a different immune system is evolutionarily advantageous, as it gives offspring a better defense against diseases.
There's a Name for Being Too Busy for More Love: " There's a Name for Being Too Busy for More Love: "Polysaturated" In the world of ethical non-monogamy, you can be open to more love in theory but simply not have the time or emotional energy for another partner. The community has a brilliant term for this: "polysaturated." It's a healthy recognition of personal limits and a way to communicate that your plate is full without closing the door on your identity. It acknowledges that even when love is infinite, time and energy are not.
A Famous Sci-Fi Writer Started a Polyamorous Relig A Famous Sci-Fi Writer Started a Polyamorous Religion The Kerista Commune, which thrived in San Francisco from 1971 to 1991, was founded on a philosophy of "polyfidelity." Started by a former science fiction writer, the group lived in a "family" of several dozen members who were all considered married to each other. They had complex sleeping schedules to ensure everyone spent time together and even developed their own unique form of group therapy. It was a radical, real-world experiment in creating a utopian, non-monogamous society. Relationships take work. PolySoCal offers the tools, space, and community to help you grow—whether you're exploring new connections or strengthening the relationship you're already in. Events, podcasts, and real conversations. 🌐 www.PolySoCal.com
Your Brain Can Mistake Fear for Love Ever wonder Your Brain Can Mistake Fear for Love Ever wonder why horror movies are a popular date night? It might be due to "misattribution of arousal." A famous 1974 study had men cross either a dangerously shaky bridge or a stable one before being approached by a female researcher. The men who crossed the scary bridge were far more likely to call her later, having mistaken their adrenaline-fueled fear for romantic attraction. So, that thrilling feeling on a first date might just be your pounding heart playing tricks on you. Real relationships take intention. At PolySoCal, we create space for growth, connection, and authentic exploration—whether you're opening up your relationship or deepening the one you have. Join us for events, honest dialogue, and a welcoming community. 🌐 www.PolySoCal.com
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  • The PolySoCal Podcast
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  • About PolySoCal
  • Members
  • Contact