Episode 62 is both a celebration and a look at the reason PolySoCal exists in the first place. With Polyam Radio and the mobile apps now fully live, Alonzo Banx brings together Michael, Bev, Jon, Heather, Double D, Dante, Lana, Blake, and Noah to answer one question: Why do we do this? The answers are as different as the relationships around the table. For some, polyamory means freedom, exploration, autonomy, and the ability to love more than one person. For others, it means finally finding a relationship structure that feels natural, discovering community after years of feeling different, or having the freedom to explore emotional and sexual needs without asking one person to be everything. The conversation also gets into jealousy, sex, mistakes, transitioning from monogamy, learning through the “oopsies and ouchies,” and why communication and honest motivation matter when opening a relationship.
Alonzo Banx, Michael, Bev, Jon, Heather, Double D, Dante, Lana, Blake, Noah
PolySoCal-E062 – Why do we do this?
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[00:00:00]
Alonzo banx: Welcome back again to the Poly SoCal Podcast. I am still Alonzo Banks. Tonight is a celebration. I can’t tell y’all how excited I am. This week are 100% live on every channel. Our apps are live our, on Android and on iPhone. Our radio station is live. We’ve got everything going. It is absolutely awesome, and I am super excited.
And because of that, asked everyone to come on tonight, and a bunch of people have. So wanna talk about why we do this. Why do we choose to be part of this lifestyle? But before I go there, I wanna go around, have everyone say hi, and let’s try to keep this into some of the polycules. Michael, you’re up first
Michael: Hello, I’m Michael. I’ve been on a few times. My partner Bev is here, and I have– I’ve been in the lifestyle for 30 years now, and I have several relationships
Alonzo banx: Welcome [00:01:00] back. And with that, we’ll go down to Bev. Bev, And you’re traveling tonight, and you went out of your way to get on with us. Thank you
Bev: I did. I did. I was excited to be on this one. I’m Bev, I’m Michael’s partner, and I’ve been in the lifestyle for years, and happy to be here. Thanks for having me
Alonzo banx: Thank you so much for all the effort you went through tonight. And we’re gonna go to your right, at least on my screen your right, John. I
Jon: Hello. Hello, I’m…
Alonzo banx: in a while. It’s good to have
Jon: I don’t know. It’s been a while. It’s been a while. It’s good to be back. I’m John, for those of you who don’t remember. I am part of a polycule of four folks, one of them being Heather, who you’ll hear from in a little bit. I’m married to Patty, I have a metamour named Beeb. Been in the lifestyle for about 32 years, married for 30 of them, and here I am
Alonzo banx: I’m looking around this room tonight, and we’ve got some serious years of knowledge here. But I’m gonna stay in that polycule real quick. Heather, [00:02:00] welcome back. I haven’t s- okay, we’ve been missing you
Heather: Hi. I miss everyone so much. I’m Heather. I’m married to Bebe. I am dating John, and I’m engaged to his wife, Patty. And I have a girlfriend outside of that, Kiwi
Alonzo banx: Yeah, I often joke about your QE. I, my whiteboard can’t keep up with all the connections and lines and diagrams between you and John. I, yeah, I… All right. Dante and Double D, let’s go up there first. Ladies first. Double D, say hi
Double D: Double D. I am married to Dante. have been in the lifestyle in one form or another for about 20 years but I’ve been with Dante for the last eight, and happy to be here
Alonzo banx: We are so thrilled to have you both on. Dante, say hi
Dante: [00:03:00] I’m Dante. Married to Double D. Been a, a couple girlfriends playmates outside of our marriage. We consider ourselves ENM
Alonzo banx: Good to have you guys both on. Lana, Blake, good to have you guys tonight. Lana, say hi
Lana: Hello, everybody. My name is Lana. I’m in relationship with Blake four years, and from our first date we introduce ourselves as monogamish. We are exploring, expanding, and learning new stuff, and we are part of Year of Opening program, and we are learning new tools. Happy to be here
Alonzo banx: I have you. Blake, welcome
Blake: as Lana mentioned, we’ve been together about four years, and we s- used a lot of that time to build our foundation. We knew that we were interested in a consensual monogamy, [00:04:00] that was what we wanted to do, and we did jump into it early on. But it’s now we’re really starting to try some new things, try some solo dating and things like that, that are and fun for us
Alonzo banx: To have you back. And rounding out tonight, You’re here alone
Noah: I am here alone. I don’t have either of the pastries tonight. They’re out bettering themselves to make my life better, I’m sure. So
Alonzo banx: I wanted to talk tonight about why we do this. We’ve put in a lot of hours getting the technology right and getting it all together, but I wanted to go beyond that. I wanted to go into poly. Why do we do this? Now, I host these things and been hosting them now for a year and a half. I don’t normally talk about my relationship status.
I tend to think my position here is to facilitate conversations. But I want to touch into that tonight I know why I am poly, for [00:05:00] those who know, and pretty much everyone on this call, I was in a relationship with a woman that we couldn’t have come from more different sides of everything. But the one thing we always had was an absolute love for each other Holly gives a way to stay in that relationship and not throw away the baby with the bathwater, as they say. You can keep the parts that you need and yet enjoy the freedoms make sure that everyone is getting what they need. My greatest joy is watching her thrive. If I couldn’t be that man, wanted her happiness in finding that. And I’ll speak for her in this moment. Most of you know her, and she has been on this call a few times, although we’ve never identified who she was. I’m pretty sure she would say exactly the same thing I know that’s why I do it, because I can never be that perfect person, [00:06:00] and I know that it allows relationships to continue when you can’t What about you? Why are you, each of you… And I made a comment as we were doing the round table or the w- the welcoming in tonight. We must have close to a couple of hundred years of poly experience on this table tonight, and there’s a lot. Why do we do it? Why do you do it? Who’s got something for me? John, I see them eyebrows going. Talk to me
Jon: Why do I do it? I was forced into it. No. I so I think I’ve talked a little bit about this in my past. I was a very jealous person, and, my first relationship was almost based in some form of jealousy. And I found it very difficult and un- unpredictable and un- sustainable at the time, and I just, couldn’t do my follow-up [00:07:00] relationship that same way.
So I spent a lot of time just soul searching and deciding to be a different type of person which was gonna be somebody who just lived in the moment more and enjoyed whatever life bring- throws at me, and enjoyed for that, and try to stay grounded in that. I think staying there led me to poly eventually.
It was a lot of experimentation and playing around and doing some crazy things and stuff, and not being too afraid about what the future might hold. Just more embracing the moments were bringing to us and stuff and being able to be open and honest about your feelings. And so it wasn’t, it was really that kinda led me to that place where I found that I was capable of loving more than one person and capable of being in love with somebody who was in love with more than one person as well. At some point that happened. And I don’t know. It, it just filled, I think, me with so much joy to be able to outside of those lines and [00:08:00] experience life in a way that other people might not conventionally wanna experience it. and I didn’t feel as in the creativity in with which I wanted to live my life. So here I am doing it.
Alonzo banx: And that’s been a while now. Was it the right choice?
Jon: Yeah, I have no plans on changing that
Alonzo banx: Who else? Noah
Noah: It’s interesting because until I really heard about this topic, I haven’t really thought about the why I do this, just knowing that I did want to. And I’ve only been at this for four years or so. I’m fairly new to all of this, especially in comparison to some of the experience we have around here. But for me, it has been about w-witnessing and feeling that have love to give and to receive, [00:09:00] and that in all of the relationships that we have, unless you’re an especially jealous person, we have more than one of them, typically, unless you’re biologically, solidified into one like a mother-father situation, right?
But we have more than one friend. We have more than one sibling. We have more than one cousin, more than one coworker that we hang out after work or do whatever. But for some reason, we’ve decided in love, we must only have one, and it just never really sat right with me. And I feel like have the ability to love more than one person in our lives in so many ways. We have the ability to allow the people in our lives to love other people as well. I think there’s a lot of fulfillment and community that can be built around that. And I also think a lot of it’s really fun, too. And [00:10:00] there’s no reason to shy away from that either
Alonzo banx: There, there is that aspect of it. Lana, go ahead
Lana: Could relate with any statement which Noah said. I feel love is infinite, and I will be not true to myself if I only gonna tell I love one person. I am giving love freely. I love a lot of people, and I’m learning now how to receive love from people, how to ask myself what I really want and just put in words. And I like novelty. I don’t like stagnant relationships. Exploration and curiosity is another thing which love in life. So all together, infinite love, curiosity, exploration polyamory, equal non-monogamy. If it’s done correctly with right foundation, strong foundation, it’s [00:11:00] wonderful. So it’s me
Alonzo banx: Double D, you got something to add to
Double D: I do. I think that this lifestyle you Freedom for choice, freedom to your desires, freedom to love with abandon, to explore different personality types and different love languages and different styles and different partners. And I really love that. I also love that I can give Dante his freedom because he was in a 42-year monogamous relationship. h- was a virgin when he got married the first time, and he had such limited [00:12:00] opportunities for and diversity that who am I to stop him enjoying his desires and have those experiences? I… everyone should be afforded to have those experiences. And the compassion and compersion level that we have for each other, we even wrote it into our marriage vows that wanted each other to have it all. And we do
Alonzo banx: Dante, go ahead
Dante: As Double D so eloquently just stated, I come from the same. My perspective on monogamy is that it’s restrictive and simply impractical. When I met Double D, she blew me away. [00:13:00] And began about eight years ago And I’m infinitely grateful to Double D for Allowing and introducing me to a great deal more than I ever knew.
Alonzo banx: You guys are so cute. Bev, we haven’t heard from you tonight
Bev: Yeah. I’m gonna also talk about how love is the most expansive force in the universe, right? So there’s just… We can feel love for so many different people. and I failed at monogamy multiple times over, and over. I just, I’d be in monogamous relationships, and they felt constrained, and like things got smaller versus more expansive.
So like love didn’t it didn’t thrive there. It felt like it was being suffocated. [00:14:00] and then of course my turn-on, my biggest turn-on is my partner having sex with another person, and that turns me on so much that I This is my home. This is where I, this is where I fit. This is what feels innate and natural, most natural for me. Even though I did have to go through things of leaving the culture of monogamy to come into polyamory and work through some, challenging situations. But super grateful. And I have the most amazing partner in Michael. So Michael, you’re up
Alonzo banx: I love your honesty. You’re great. All right, Heather, Blake, and Michael. Michael, have you given us yours tonight? Who wants to go next? Heather,
Michael: Wait.
Alonzo banx: Michael, which
Michael: good point. He’s up.
Alonzo banx: Michael, go ahead.
Michael: I can go.
Alonzo banx: first
Michael: E- yeah [00:15:00] I’ll tell you one of the reasons that I do it is because you could get a bunch of people like we just did and have a conversation exactly like this. ‘Cause I, I was 14 years old when I kissed my first girl, and I, first girlfriend, if you will.
And I knew then something was different about me. The things that they said about jealousy and monogamy and the way you should and the possessive, n- none of it made any sense to me. And I went all the way into my 30s before I met a single person who questioned that monogamy ladder, who questioned…
Like, when I would talk about it, it’s like you just, you are afraid of commitment. You just haven’t met the right person. When you find someone you love, you won’t be excited about them. And so it just, when I found l- other people like this, it felt like Bev just talked about, it felt like coming home.
And regardless of what different flavors there are, what different choices people make, [00:16:00] the thing that I love about this is, one, I don’t fit into that other world, and two I feel that intimacy comes through acceptance, not attachment, and and because people are questioning and looking instead of just accepting what they’ve been told, even if it doesn’t work.
So that’s what draws me, is people who are willing to talk about it and who are examining and looking at themselves
Alonzo banx: Heather, I’m gonna pick on you now. The average age of people in this room is a little bit over your age group. But I’ll say that politely. What brings you into this world?
Heather: Great and I did observe the same thing you did. I do feel young in this group.
Alonzo banx: You are young in this group
Heather: What Bev and Double D said. Going off what Double D said, I do like the [00:17:00] freedoms I have. though I can’t do anything whenever I want I still have that freedom to choose and talk to my partners about it. so I really do like that autonomy and being able to explore myself and express my needs, even when they don’t include my husband. So that’s really nice. And to bounce off what Bev said, it does feel very natural for me to have multiple partners. But, and then the opposite of that, I can totally see myself being a completely monogamous person and still living a happy life.
But if I have the preference, it would be poly. So it just feels natural for me. I could fit into both but don’t know. Just feels like s-that’s easy for me, so
Alonzo banx: Blake, how about you?
Blake: Yeah. Yeah I just feel like it’s such a great way to [00:18:00] learn new things about your partner and new things about yourself, always expanding into new things. In my first marriage, I was constantly having emotional affairs, so I’d be constantly interested in, seeing one woman or another getting together for lunch and whatever and always kee- but it was always secret, and it was always always stopped before it became physical. And finally my 11th anniversary, I de- I decided, the problem here, the problem with seeing multiple people is really about secret– the problem with affairs is the secrecy, and I introduced this idea to my wife, and she was a bit taken aback at first, but when we started exploring things together, she enjoyed it more. And th-the that marriage didn’t work out, but it wasn’t because of the non-monogamy. Excuse me. But in my second marriage my, my second wife was very strictly monogamous, and I agreed to that, and I stayed true to that. But [00:19:00] in the time that we were together, she re-became so jealous of any kind of flirtation I might have with anybody. She was just scared and worried about it that that marriage fell apart. And what I realized or I should say that now I’m in love with a woman who just wants to kiss, hug, and relax, and and I love that. And to see her glowing is is something that just, makes my heart warm, and to have the opportunity to explore the depths and to, to operate out of a sense of abundance rather than fear. And this is one of the things that we’ve been really looking at with with regard to opening up our dating life is to say that, or she said to me the other day, she said that, “It’s not just about dating. It’s about how you connect with with everyone and your ability to connect and sort of this, this freedom to connect without limitations.” The [00:20:00] whole idea of abundance, I think, is a very big part of what, what attracts me to this lifestyle.
Alonzo banx: And people at home, you can’t see the glowing smile across Lana’s face. Little heart symbol she’s flashing there a minute ago. Lana, you had something you wanted to add. Go ahead
Lana: My life change in this relationship for just 180 degrees. I am experience more freedom. I experience more truths of myself, and I’m expanding, and our relationship expanding. And to see how my partner is happy and Blake is smiling, and some people noticing he’s smiling just walking in the street, and his relatives is noticing. So it’s working. It’s working well for us, and we are celebrating this. And we want more, and we want to explore, and we want to expand for sure, and it feels very good. Yeah
Alonzo banx: Double [00:21:00] D I see you there. I gotta say, y’all boring and letting me down. No one tonight said great sex. Come on, we’re 25 minutes into this, and the closest I’ve got is Bev admitting that, one of her turn-ons. I know some of you. Double D, you accept me saying you wanted to add
Double D: See, that is one of the benefits is y- I, everyone knows the erotic blueprints, right? You’re a sensual, a sexual, an energetic, a kink, a shape-shifter. The shape-shifter is someone that all of the elements. That’s me. So I… Dave’s a sensual, kinky sensual. He’s a kinky sensual. So I get to explore those with One of my other lovers is more of a dom. One of my other lovers is something different. I get to [00:22:00] get an entire rainbow experiences, and I get to fulfill all of my wants, needs, and desires without putting the pressure my partner to do that for me. I get to go out and find that in all of my partners, and that is freedom. And it also brings up the element of communication and vulnerability, allows you to be authentic and speak your wants, needs, and desires to all of your partners to get what you need. Those are yummy elements of poly
Alonzo banx: And there are a lot of yummy elements. I got a couple questions for everyone here. Of [00:23:00] the table tonight, has anyone transitioned a relationship monogamy a poly relationship, or are most of you as a poly understanding? Heather, go ahead. And Blake and John, I see you too, but Heather was up first
Heather: I had been in the lifestyle before I met Beeb, but when Beeb and I got together, we were monogamous for one year. and then after that year of us building our foundation, was a quick building of said foundation, I did suggest the lifestyle, but I suggested swinging first, not jumping into poly. after we navigated swinging we discovered poly. We weren’t looking for it. Think jumping from monogamous to poly can be hard for, on a couple if they don’t do the [00:24:00] education and just jumping into it
Alonzo banx: Yeah, and in my experience, most people who do, do step through the, the swinging step first. You end up going from monogamy to swinging. But Blake and John, you had something. Who’s up? Blake, go ahead
Blake: Yeah, as I mentioned in my first marriage, we were 11 years in when I brought it up with my wife and we d- I wouldn’t say that we were poly or swingers. We did we had a lot of threesomes and I– we really enjoyed the threesomes, and usually the way that it would work would be either I would invite one of my guy friends or she would invite one of her girlfriends, and that really kept the jealousy issues at bay because, it was either my friend or her friend and so that helped with the feelings of jealousy. I would also say that in my, in our relationship with Lana, that we’ve moved from situations more like that where we were enjoying threesomes and so forth. And in fact, in our first couple years, I remember feeling really [00:25:00] scared about the poly label and feeling like, “Gee, I don’t know if I could handle really being fully polyamorous.”
So it really has been through a lot of inner work, through a lot of dealing with my own triggers and my own– It’s not just jealousy, it’s also FOMO, and it’s also envy. And being able to identify those things and have ways of coping with them that have led to the point where w- we’re both feeling more confident and like we can step into this world where we’re not necessarily together all the time.
There there’s a, a romantic life that is it’s still, it’s contained within our larger relationship, but we’re not there for everything
Alonzo banx: John?
Jon: So Patty and I were monogamous when we very first started, but we did definitely transition quickly into it. Yeah, it was really, it was just a very typical swing to a poly kind of transition stuff, whatever. I think it’s kinda typical that way. But yeah, we found [00:26:00] ourselves connecting with people pretty wildly in the beginning and not getting to know them first, and there was a number of pitfalls to that, and we better start getting to know some of these people before we jump into a bed with them.
That led to
Alonzo banx: do an entire podcast on that topic some night. The pitfalls of moving too quickly.
I think we’ve all been there, done that. Guys, what advice would you have for people? Young couples who are listening to this, and keep in mind that our demographic are oddly, most of the people who listen to our show are people looking to transition into poly. The kind of emails I get are people come to us because they’re looking for i- real information about what this lifestyle is about. Heather, a lot more of them about your age. And I see Dante, Double D, and Blake, but I called on Heather because a lot of them are in your age bracket
Heather: I would say do, do your research. [00:27:00] So go to ENM discussion groups find your community through communication first and not just, like John said, jumping into bed with people. And then be aware going into the lifestyle, you’re gonna have a bunch of preconceived m- monogamous ways of thinking that you’re going to have to break down and figure out new ways of thinking that are not rest- restrictive through monogamous relationship type ways.
And you kinda figure those out along the way. But there’s plenty of books you can read people you can meet and talk to. Definitely you wanna talk to the people who have been doing it for 30-plus years. They’re gonna give you the best advice
Alonzo banx: Wait
Blake: Yeah, I wanted to follow up on what John had said about jumping in too quickly. For us it wasn’t a matter of not knowing the person, but we jumped in quickly at the start of our relationship. So our– We had our first [00:28:00] threesome when we’d been together about three or four months, and at that point we didn’t have the skills and we didn’t have the knowledge.
We didn’t have that built up trust or under- base and understanding of each other. And while it wasn’t a complete disaster, it was very challenging. That first threesome that we had was full of some very bumpy points. And as it turns out, this person is still involved in our life and we really enjoy that relationship.
But it’s it’s been a– it was a bumpy ride there at the start
Alonzo banx: I, I, Double D I see you there, but Lana, any comment on that?
Lana: Yes, I can add. It was not disaster, but it was not not fun, especially for me. It just give me that aftertaste and I was thinking, “Why? Why do I need this relationship? It’s not working, and why like to be in a threesome if it’s not working?” I’m very glad we did not stop [00:29:00] exploring. moment we start understanding each other better, who we are and how our love is deep and trust each other, it’s became more and it’s getting enjoyable and enjoyable. And connection and communication is very important. Just my advice communication. As you said, communication is lubrication.
Absolutely. And love to be connected with people first. For me, it’s a process and I love to be me and not pretend anything. when Blake understood this and just felt deeply in his heart it’s who I am, and he wants to be with me, everything changed, and it’s now beautiful. We are enjoying.
Alonzo banx: Mike, I’ll come back to you. Dante and Double D one of the things I wanna point out is something that you just said on a little co- subtext there. One of the things that makes this work [00:30:00] is the ability to recover from missteps, is the ability as a couple to try something, have it fail miserably, and yet be able to get through it on the other side.
I think that’s one, a huge factor. Sorry I jumped in there. I know there’s a queue. Double D, you were up.
Double D: There’s always going to be oopsies and ouchies along the way. You can’t do poly without oopsies and ouchies. But you need, like Lana said, the communication is paramount. You need to be able to talk to each other to not only set boundaries and perimeters, but what if? What are our desires as a couple? What are our boundaries as a couple? And let’s go explore this [00:31:00] together, and then come back and really share and be vulnerable. And because it takes vulnerability to really expand and stretch your edges here, and isn’t that what we’re all doing, is stretching our edges? And knowing that your partner’s got your back, and that he’s gonna be there for you to pick up the pieces when things go bad, or just hold space for you while you find your own solutions, that is what it takes to be successful. Go slow. Check in often with your partner. Talk about what’s going right and what’s not going right, you can move forward together with everyone’s hopes and fears [00:32:00] acknowledged taken care of
Alonzo banx: Very well said. And exploration. means we don’t always know exactly the ground that we’re walking on, which leads to those oopsies on occasion. But Dante, and then I’m gonna call on Blake, and then Noah, you’re actually gonna take us out tonight. You haven’t spoken enough today. So I’m gonna go Dante, Blake, and then Noah, you get to tell us all what we learned about why we do this. Dante, please.
Dante: Foundationally going back to your original question, Alonzo, I would recommend any couple just getting together to spend at least a year Getting to know one another,
Alonzo banx: Wait
Blake: Yeah th- just to be quick, one, one thing is I think it’s really important to find experts for guidance. We’ve talked to probably five or six different tantra teachers and sex positive therapists and different [00:33:00] people at different kind of crucial points in our development that have really helped us through some rough spots.
So be sure to, look for those resources, people that you can talk with professionally and get some guidance. The other thing in terms of using the as learning experiences. Just to get specific about that, that first time, there was a moment that I freaked out.
It was when she had turned to– we were in, in bed, and she was– we were going to sleep and she turned to face the other guy, and I thought, “Oh my God, she’s gonna fall asleep in his arms and I’m gonna be and so w-what we did in the weeks after that was we actually played with that situation when it was just the, the two of us, and we would say– I would say, “Okay, go ahead and hug that pillow next to you as if it’s another person, and I’m gonna practice managing my feelings and, feeling a part of what’s happening.” And just using that as a learning experience was very helpful[00:34:00]
Alonzo banx: So we started tonight with a question: Why do we do this? And we’ve explored the why, and we’ve explored the hows, and some of the little speed bumps. John, Heather, Michael, before I pass this to Noah so that he can wrap up all of our worldly knowledge tonight, anything else? Any other thoughts about that? Add Michael
Michael: I love all of the input that we’ve got from all of this. It’s really– I’m really thinking about the journey I’ve been on and how I felt all alone for so many years, and listening to all this, it’s really heartwarming, honestly. And I think probably the biggest thing when I talk to people that are new to it is they’ve come from some set of rules, and they’re looking for what the new set of rules are.
And I would say be more interested in what’s true to you, as we’ve heard several people say tonight. Instead of worrying about what the rules are, pay attention to what your truth is, what’s real [00:35:00] for you, and then make your own rules. Make what works for you
Alonzo banx: Noah, you’ve been way too quiet tonight, so now I’m putting you on the hot seat. Take us out for the night. Explain what we learned
Noah: Absolutely, I will. But first I need to give some advice to the young ones who are trying possibly get into this lifestyle. I have to chime in just a little bit. I really feel like there’s two major things. If we really bring it back just a little bit to the base desire to transition into something like this. I think one is you need to check your motivations, right? Are you trying to enhance your life or are you trying to fill a hole? Now, I love to fill a hole, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not necessarily the way to move into this. If you’re just trying to fill a gap in your life, you feel like you’re really missing out on something because your partner isn’t giving it to you or something like that, maybe you need to try to talk to your partner and work some things out.
It should be an enhancement, not something to solve a problem that you’re trying to get out of. And then I think the other part of that is [00:36:00] no coercion. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not being fully fulfilled, and this is your solution to try to solve some of those needs, coercing your partner into it any level or any degree is the wrong way to go. And I think it’s very important everybody goes into this lifestyle with great enthusiasm. Is not always easy to navigate all the relationships, and it can be trying at times. But if you have open communication, as we talk about all the time and you have trust in your partners you are able to speak freely and openly, I truly believe you can get through basically anything. That being said, I think what we learned tonight is it is okay to acknowledge that we have needs and desires and love for other people. it [00:37:00] is something that we’ve learned is that we have an ability to do all of these things and come back to our nesting partners or our other partners and have a, an individual relationship with them and perhaps a community relationship with all of them at the same time. You can have them isolated and together. can all love that. And I think the other thing that we’ve really learned on every episode communication. we can communicate and we can express what gives us joy, express what makes us afraid I think we can really find the love in our community, in our relationships. That’s what it’s all about.
Alonzo banx: Very well said, sir. Bev, John, Michael, Heather, Dante, Lana, Double D, Blake, Noah. Man, we had a full house tonight. Thank you. you for making this [00:38:00] all worthwhile. all you guys. I still Alonzo Banks, and this has been the “Polly SoCal” podcast. Good night, everyone.